BUCKLE UP

I cannot believe that after first looking into this over four years ago, Coby's OIT consult is tomorrow. I've spent dozens of hours reading articles and on message boards with other parents going through this right now and I am down to  27 questions.

We were told to give about two hours for the consult appointment for the doctor to explain very specifically what will happen, to do some blood work and skin tests and answer all our questions. I wonder if the average parent comes in with over two dozen questions. Every day it seems as if I have more. Those parents who are doing this assure that it is completely normal to be so nervous during this process. How can you not be? Feeding your child his poison EVERY SINGLE DAY and KNOWING reactions of some sort WILL happen.

I am already so nervous about tomorrow's appointment and am trying to talk myself down. "Stacey he is NOT ingesting any peanuts tomorrow, so CHILL OUT!"

Inhale, exhale.

After your child doses you need to keep his heart-rate steady and his body at its regular core temperature. Don't do anything that can cause an increase in heart rate. The environment in the house has to be very calm as well, because if your child feels stressed out, that can bring on a reaction as well. Holy moly! He doesn't know this is keeping me up at night. He doesn't know about my nightmares or my fears, but....

The worst thing you can tell somebody who in panicking is, "RELAX!" It has the opposite effect!

But OMG I will need to do some breathing exercises or something. Wonder if this doctor can give me some anti anxiety meds! (only half joking here)

Coby already has expressed some nerves about this as well. How after all this time can we tell him he will have to eat what we spent all these years avoiding because it's so dangerous.... and what is going to happen to him when he eats it. I am sure after sitting through tomorrow's consult he will have even more questions and concerns.

Okay Stacey stop getting ahead of yourself. One foot in front of another. One step at a time.

I feel like we just waited on a long line for a crazy roller-coaster and we are next on the loading dock. Tomorrow the coaster will pull into the station and our gate will swing open. We will sit down in our seats and pull down the safety bar locking it into place. The attendant will give it one final pull to make sure it's indeed locked into place and then slowly slowly, at first, it begins to chug out of the station.

Inhale, exhale.