PURIM 2017

Happy Purim from the UP crew!!! We chose this theme before we realized that if you 'vinahafochu' the word PURIM you get MIRUP. We chose this theme long before we knew Coby would be doing OIT and our life would be consumed by all the UPdosing appointments! What an appropriate theme we ended up choosing for this year.

So now Purim 2017 has come and gone though I am unable to completely exhale. I cannot yet say that this holiday passed 'safely' since shalach manot items remain in our home. Yes we sorted through our Shalach Manot, reading labels and ingredients, making a safe pile, a questionable pile (which means not safe) and an unsafe pile and getting everything we think to be unsafe out of the house.... but what if we made a mistake?

reading all ingredients 

So much stuff comes into the house on Purim---- some things obviously unsafe like snickers bars, some things that 'may contain peanuts' like granola bars, and things one wouldn't think would contain peanuts like gum. like crackers. like cranberries.
But what if we made a mistake? 
What if we missed something?

The pile closer to Coby should be safe.
The pile further from him is not.
The piles are nearly equal in size.

Coby's anaphylactic reaction occurred six years ago 2 days after Purim when he ate goobers from one of our shalach manot. And  our life changed. Everything until that moment was our life "BEFORE". Everything since that moment became our life "AFTER". The defining moment that changed everything.

Purim used to be my favorite holiday. Now I have a love/hate relationship with it.

I used to love the costumes, the themes, seeing family and friends, and I still do---- but how can I completely love a holiday when it is one in which dozens of grenades enter our home and threaten to wreak havoc.

some of the unsafe items in this year's batch. Even things that are seemingly innocent like
gum and cranberries have a warning on them..

Every year Purim gives us such anxiety.
After all we KNOW there are things that won't be safe for him to eat.
We KNOW he will be disappointed as he sees his unsafe pile grow.
How do we know that we will be 100% successful in clearing out all unsafe items?

This Thursday (if the roads are clear by then and Coby remains healthy) Coby will eat, for the very first time, (since that fateful day back in '11) peanut flour. (until now he was swallowing a drink)
4 weeks after that he will eat an actual peanut (well half of one).
If all goes smoothly when he gets to 3 peanuts he will be cleared for 'cross contamination'.
If all continues to go smoothly and he makes it all the way to 12 peanuts and then passes a 24 peanut food challenge he will be allowed to eat freely!!!! (though we have to figure out when he would need to observe the 2 hour rest period when eating things with peanuts, I believe it depends on the amount.)

(Part of me is wondering if I should also eat half a peanut together with Coby at the doctor's office. Being a vegetarian, peanut butter used to be my main source of protein. Since Coby's allergy I have not had anything with peanuts. I could not eat something that I knew could kill my son. Over the years, however, I read that if one stops eating something and then starts up again, they may have developed an allergy to it, so part of me is actually scared to start eating peanuts again, so maybe I should try it at a doctor's office too!)

How nice would it be if OIT is successful so when Purim 2018 rolls around we won't have to sort through anything.
How nice would it be for Coby's eyes to grow as wide as saucers like a kid in a candy store and be able to grab at everything!!!!
How nice would it be if we can start completely loving Purim again.
How nice would it be if my nightmares about Purim is only whether I have a theme picked out, costumes made and matching shalach manot (and yes I'll admit it. I have nightmares throughout the year that I wake up Purim morning completely unprepared) and not one of fear  that this holiday could send my child into the emergency room fighting for his life as happened before.

Regular childhood moments.
Safety.
And this is why we OIT.
And so we hope Purim 2017 can pass us by with no incidents at all and we eagerly look forward to a Purim 2018 that will be one for the books.
I can see it already....
Please G-d...