THERE. IS. PEANUT. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!!

And he did it again!!!! My super-star up-dosed to 20% of a peanut!!!! Of course as luck would have it that although he went to school totally healthy, he came home with a runny nose and the sneezies. Lovely. Thankfully he was still good to up-dose, though they had to check him out a bit extra cuz he kept rubbing tissues at his nose after dosing. Thankfully it was not dose related--- just this cold he decided to pick up hours before up-dosing. But all went well, so we can't complain!

Upon getting dressed in this week's motivational OIT shirt Coby exclaimed, "This shirt is soooo soft. I feel encouraged to up-dose!"

NO GUTS NO GLORY

And up-dose he did! He even self administered.

All the way up to 50 milligrams which is the equivalent of about 1/5th of a peanut! 

Other than his runny nose he rocked that peak flow, pulse monitor and blood oxygen levels! He spent the hour doing his homework, reading and playing on his phone. And as he sometimes tends to do, he broke into a song that inspires him as well. This time it was Sia's.

 

                       Don't give up, I won't give up

                       Don't give up, no no no
                       Don't give up, I won't give up
                       Don't give up, no no no

If all goes well, next week will be his VERY LAST LIQUID UP-DOSE! Things are getting real people! We discussed the next steps with the doctor. We discussed how the numbers are going to seem to jump quite a bit now for the next few weeks. (50 to 100 to 175 to 250 to 500)

Why?

For whatever reason this is how the body seems to acclimate best. They follow the duke protocol that has great success rates.

So here we go.

When we do get to the actual peanuts themselves, we discussed how Coby shouldn't touch those peanuts for quite a while. The skin is the last organ to desensitize from an allergy. If he touches it he may break out in hives where he touched it. If he rubs his eye, it can insert peanut dust right into the blood stream and cause a reaction. They will put the peanut into a little cup and have him chug that nut down without touching it.

Interesting.

Cool.

Scary.

Exciting.

(We also realized that Coby is only scheduled for up-dose appointments through the end of April but there is no way he will be finished with his treatment by then. If all goes well- please G-d- and he has zero reactions and there are no weather problems and he does not have to down-dose and he does not get sick, we MIGHT be able to finish at the beginning of the summer, so for now we made appointments that will take us through the end of June.)

And before we left they handed us a couple of plastic cups of crushed peanut flour. 

My mind was blown.

We have not touched or handled anything that was even made in the same facility as nuts in six years. I myself haven't eaten anything that contained peanuts because I could not bring myself to eat something that has the power to kill my child. And now we held those cups. 

Surreal.

Each of us had a different response to them. 

Holy friggin' cow. I am holding peanuts that my child will soon consume. How is this happening?

YOU WATCH IT PEANUTS, I AM GOING TO CRUSH YOU!!!!!

I then had to carefully pack up those canisters into our cooler to make sure we safely transported the enemy into our (what used to be) safe home.

AND NOW THERE ARE PEANUTS IN MY HOUSE (flour form)

If all goes well Coby will be on each dose for just 7 days, but she wrote us a prescription for 14 days
just in case for whatever reason we are unable to up-dose each week.
We are covered for 2 weeks just in case.

For the first time in six years- almost to the day there are peanuts in our house. It's crazy. It's scary. The content of even a fraction of one of those cups can still kill my kid. But we are coming for you. We are going to claim our power back!

And so tomorrow morning Yitz is going to take that flour to an apothecary who will pack it into capsules at the proper dosages. Next week we will pick up said capsules. Next week's up-dose will be Coby's very last liquid up-dose.... and then, then....

I can't even....