THIS ONE IS A BIGGIE....

Once again it is the night 'before'. Earlier today I had thought I'd blog today but then I wasn't in the mood- I think I was kind of trying to keep my head in the sand about the monumentalness (yes I am inventing words) of tomorrow.

But then Yitz relayed to me a conversation he had just had with Coby which I took as a sign that I must blog. I will relay their conversation verbatim via memes.












My kid is soooo excited about this whole OITthing. He discusses it eagerly with his friends at school. He discusses it with his teachers. He discusses it with his friend's parents. He looks forward to every single dose despite the 2 hours of inactivity that must follow.

Actually truth be told, he was a little sad this past Sunday when he got together with his cousins and had to dose while we were there which meant he couldn't run around. "But last year we all played tag together!" he whined. But he was okay enough about it even then and had fun with them despite not being able to, "I WANT TO GO WILD!"

dreidel dreidel dreidel....

When we hosted a Chanukah get together at our house we timed it to be two hours after dosing so he was able to "GET WILD!" And that he did!

But he did have a blast at all gatherings and has been having a great Chanukah. He was super excited when we went to see the YSTUDS at our shul. He was super super excited when they sang "Hashem Melech" but he was most superest excitedest (yep new word inventions again) when he saw his OIT doctor at the concert too! (Turns out his son in law is one of the YSTUDS)

Dr. Selter!

Honestly this week I'd even get to use one of my "OIT is boring" memes as well but I'm including enough other pictures in this post so I'll save that pic for another time. Coby did pretty good with this week's dosing. Pretty much smooth sailing! Yes still the lip swipes and occasional eye rubs and itchiness but other than that---- okayness (by now you should realize I have my own dictionary!)

After dosing today he did have a bit more itchiness than last night and while I knew I didn't have to be too concerned about it in and of itself, it still concerns me about updosing 2.5 times his current level, tomorrow. (inner voice- "uh oh he's scratching today, does that mean his body isn't comfortable enough with this dose to go up tomorrow?" I gotta find a way to shut up that inner voice of mine! Though sometimes, that inner voice is gut feeling & that power can be used for good as well! ;)

Question: So, what is so monumental about tomorrow's updose?

Answer: This is the closest dose to the 'scary number' his doctor has warned me about.

For years I have had that broken record playing in my head. Years ago his allergist said, "it will take something as small as 1/100th of a peanut to close his throat in seconds."

AND TOMORROW HE IS SUPPOSED TO UPDOSE TO 1/120th OF A PEANUT!

Because of THAT number I had originally dragged my feet about OIT thinking, 'it's impossible! 1/100th of a peanut can kill him in seconds- how can I even consider OIT?' BUT people encouraged me telling me, 'OIT is specifically for those children who have such a severe allergy as those are the children who need it the most." 

And our doctor started him on something MUCH LESS than that dreaded "1/100th" of a peanut- Coby was started on 1/1.2 millionth of a peanut back in October!

But tomorrow.... tomorrow Coby's updose goes from 1/300th to 1/120th of a peanut. This is the closest dose to that 1/100th. And it is so nerve-wracking. (Next updose after tomorrow would be 1/60th).

BUT I understand that the whole point of OIT is to raise his little body's threshold and so I need to trust in the process.

And to find some brightness about tomorrow is that- yes, while the weather report is one big ICK for tomorrow and I HATE driving in that weather---- I won't have to! BOOYA!!!! Yitz is able to work from home this week so he'll be able to take over the driving! Of course I am still going to be there with my Coby. He aint going through this without me but I will have Yitz by my side and I won't have to face that dreaded 1/120th by myself. So thankful for that! (BTW Coby knows nothing about the significance of this number! To him it's just another exciting updose that he seriously LOVES!)

Meanwhile tonight was the last night of Chanukah all 5 of us will be together since Josh is in Teaneck for the night before continuing on to the Poconos tomorrow. (Yep Josh and his friends will be driving through the crap weather to the Poconos and then he'll be traveling to Nicaragua- so I won't run out of things to worry about! Hey, I just take it all upon myself so nobody else in our family has to bother worrying- I do enough for all of us!)

The five of us were together tonight to light the menorah on this 5th night of Chanukah. Each night of Chanukah we add one more flame until all 8 candles are burning bright. While we add one light for each night, all it takes is just a single flame to chase away the darkness. These winter days are dark and dreary and so often this world seems like such a scary place. We need to let those flickering flames in the windows dispel the darkness around us. After all being able to see the lights despite the darkness IS the definition of hope: And hope is the only thing in this world that is stronger than fear. We cannot succumb to our fears. We must continue to believe, pray, hope and move forward. And so that is what our family will do- take a deep breath. Pray, hope, trust and believe. And IYH tomorrow (and all the tomorrows after that) will go smoothly and bring us another step closer to our goal of protecting our Coby's life and giving him his innocence back.

From our family to yours Chag Sameach.